Often times, the "beast" sneaks up on us, like a thief in the night, waiting for us to be at our most vulnerable; and then it strikes. Its poisonous fangs digging deeply into our psyche until we feel like we have lost an essential part of ourselves: our identity.
Who we are as moms and wives should never overtake who we are as women. Our identity is constantly changing as we grow, age, and hopefully, become even better people than we were before. We change so gradually, that the "beast" can take root so deeply within ourselves and we do not even realize it until it is too late. The BREAK DOWN occurs, or as I like to say, "I have just lost my mind today."
This "beast" is a little snake called depression. It infiltrates us slowly, manipulating our minds, hearts, and souls; sucking everything we are right out of us. We do not even realize this is happening until one day we snap.
Today, I am focusing on talking about how to avoid the eventual snapping by discussing signs that you may be "losing" yourself as well as some ways to halt the downward slide. I myself have struggled with mild depression for the past 2 1/2 years. I used to teach full time and chose to stay home when my second child was born. At this time, I also became ill. On the one hand, I lost my identity as a career woman, who I had been (a teacher) was no longer my identity. I had become just "a mom". And then, a "sick mom". There is nothing wrong with being "just a mom"; being a mom is one of the most important jobs I will do every day for the rest of my life, and I want to do it as best as I can. However, I was taught since a young age that it was important for me to rely on myself and have a career as well. This mode of thinking can really tear you down when you go from making your own money to relying on your husband to pay all of the bills; especially if you were taught the way of life that both parents worked (which I was). Long story short, I began going to therapy and am on medications to hopefully control my Chron's disease (eventually!), but feel healthier in body, mind, and spirit today than I have since I stopped working full time three years ago.
The "beast" sunk its fangs in deeply and I became so sad, weepy, and just did not want to get out of bed. An identity change can really destroy you if you are not prepared for it. We as women will go through this at some point in our life even if you are not experiencing it now. We as moms cannot let it destroy us. Our children rely on us to be their rocks and be the strong and consistent ones in their lives. We cannot let the "beast" win the wars that rage within us.
Here are some things to watch out for: Crying spells, lethargy, not caring about what is going on in your life, not able to get out of bed, no enjoyment in things you used to enjoy, secluding yourself, and irrational anger.
Here is what you can do about it: Go to see a therapist/counsellor (this is a safe place to talk about what is upsetting you and give you the tools to deal with your life as it is today), find a support group of women, go out and enjoy sunny days, and above all, do not hole up in your home. Make sure you do at least one thing a day (even if that one thing is just taking a shower), when you are the most depressed, that one thing will make you feel like you have accomplished something for the day. Surrounding yourself with bright colors also helps as the winter season comes upon us.
Please feel free to share in the comments section other ideas for dealing with depression. What works to get you out of the blues and silences the "beast"?
Awesome post LeeAnne. So many people are ashamed to talk about this. More people than you realize are affected by depression and almost every woman I know has struggled with it at least once in their life. It is so important to seek help for it. You will have a better quality of life, and in turn so will your family.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I lean more towards the preventative side. I find that Not doing too much and getting out every day is helpful. Seeing or chatting with friends is necessary. If I notice my mood starting to go downhill I tell as many people as I feel comfortable with so that they can help me talk it through, find causes and change them and most importantly to help watch for signs of moderate depression. Because I know once it is moderate, I won't tell anyone and it is difficult to come out of.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. Knowing you has helped me come out of my shell and not have fear of what others may think..Love ya!