Keeping Your Marriage Strong

As a military spouse, you will find that there are times that your marriage is in danger of "falling apart", whether this is from deployment schedules, daily stresses, or just that as you grow as an individual your growth patterns lead in different directions. Keeping your marriage strong should be a daily routine. Effective communication is key as well as remembering to be realistic in how you "see" your marriage.

I have been through three deployments each of varying lengths in the eight years of being with my husband. These do not include the short spurts of time that he leaves for training exercises. Those times apart change both you and your spouse and you have to remember to be realistic when it comes to how your relationship will be when he returns. Both you and he have changed during those times apart and it takes time to re-acclimate when he returns home from a long time apart.

Some things I try to do with my own husband are: Do not to sweat the little things! If he does something annoying that grates on your nerves (they all do it!) either let it roll off of your shoulders like water or address it in an effective way. Don't blow up at him! Too many times our communication becomes ineffective when we get worked up and we lose it. Remember to keep your cool. Keep a date night every week where you do something for you two- leave the family concerns at home and concentrate on your connection to your spouse. Remember that there is more to life than just going through it by rote and try to communicate in an effective manner- talk to them, not at them.

Unchecked stresses that are not "fixed" can cause a marriage to fall apart. If you feel that your marriage is in danger of this, you should find a good marriage counselor that can teach both you and your partner how to make your marriage as strong as it can be.

Remember that marriage is not easy, but a marriage to a military personnel is the hardest because we are the ones that have to become both mom and dad at the drop of a hat putting our spouses duties on our own shoulders. This is enough to drive anyone insane!