Fighting the Separation Blues

As a military wife, separations from my spouse are a constant occurrence. I have been married for six years now to a man who plans to make a career of being in the military. In that time, I have had the opportunity to experience three deployments of varying lengths; and I must say they never get any easier.
All those people who say 'don't worry, the time will fly by and the next one will be a piece of cake' do not know what they are talking about! It never gets any easier to see your loved one leave for an undetermined length of time and to now be responsible for not only your own duties as wife and mother, but of father as well.
One thing that I have found that works for me during these stressful times is to keep as busy as possible. You may be thinking 'that's easy for you to say' when you work full time and are only home long enough to eat, get the children into bed and go to sleep yourself; but what about those women whose primary job is within the home in the traditional roles of mother and homemaker, such as myself? Time tends to creep by for those of us who have "nothing" to do except take care of the house and children.
I take up new hobbies during this time of stress and separation and try new things that I may not have done before. If you live near a military installation, there are so many free programs that you can take advantage of that will help you pass the time (IE. go the gym- its free!, use the bowling alley, connect with other women from your squadron or unit). Find a friend and go see a movie one day a week, or even a lunch day when you are connecting with someone else besides your children and you have a break, even if only for a few minutes. Read all of the books that you have been meaning to get around to! Or, you can be like me and begin to write one that may never be finished! (Laughing about that one!). The main point is to find things that you enjoy and do them. Above all, do not entertain feelings of guilt! There is no reason for it.
I also suggest that instead of a daily emailed letter to your spouse overseas that you create works of art on stationary and send it snail mail; at least once a week. During my husband's first deployment he carried no less than three letters at a time in his pockets every day. This is a way for them to be connected to us here at home. You can send your most intimate thoughts this way with the knowledge that only his eyes will see them.
Try getting into the habit of choosing an item a week from your child's artwork or work that has been sent home from school to send to daddy as a way of keeping him involved even though he is not present. You can always let your child or children pick out what items to share making it a fun game for them.
Over all, you must remember to LIVE! Your life does not end when he is away. It must in fact go on with as much normalcy as possible if only so that the transition is easier for your children. It is okay to cry and be sad, however I make it my own practice to not let my children see me break down. Let them see instead the inner strength pour out from you as you fulfill all your daily family business and needs. Before you know it, you will be standing in a crowd waving those flags and holding handmade signs while you wait with pent up breath for the first sight of him.
And much like the parting of the Red Sea, there he will be, striding towards you with just as much joy in his own steps.