Free Sesame Street Shows

Sesame Street has a bunch of episodes on iTunes that you can download for free and they talk about how to deal with deployments. Very cool! Major props for Sesame Street!
Just click here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/learn-along-with-sesame/id215221061

Your Child's Education

If I have not already stated in previous posts, I am an educator. I used to teach full-time, but with the birth of my second child, husband deploying, and subsequent development of my Chron's Disease, I have since become a stay-at-home mom. Even though being a mom, wife, and homemaker is my primary job now, I still miss teaching.

My oldest child is in Kindergarten this year and has struggled herself with building her sight word knowledge and her number knowledge. As a parent, I wonder what my child is learning in the classroom, and as a teacher, I wonder how I can help her with the areas she struggles with.

Most children in America today have some sort of struggle during the year with their education. As a parent, your job is to be aware of what your child is learning and where they are struggling in their studies. In my experience as a teacher, many of my parents had no desire to help their children in their schooling once they left the school and they struggled, passing the grade by the skin of their teeth. I hope that you readers out there take the advice I am going to give from the point of view of a parent and a teacher.

If your student is struggling in school:

1. What subject are they lacking in and why?

2. What can I do as a parent at home to help my child learn what they are supposed to learn this year at school?

3. What type of learner is my child? (Are they audial- learn by hearing, verbal- learn by speaking, or kinisthetic- learn by doing?)- This information helps you as a parent and the teacher work within their best learning modality. Most students learn with 2 or more modalities. (My daughter has struggled this year because she is primarily an audial learner- imagine trying to teacher her numbers when she does not learn visually!)

4. Be proactive not reactive. Try to be in constant contact (I suggest monthly) with your student's teacher just to make sure you are on the same page with them. The teacher should be sending home weekly or biweekly work that has been corrected so that you can see what your child has been working on and what they are not completing successfully.

5. If your student has learning issues, what modifications are being made for your child and are they working?

6. If your student is on medication for ADD/ADHD, is it effective while they are in school? (ie. are they alert and paying attention or are they lethargic and unable to do any of their work in a timely manner?)

Keep in mind that your student's teacher sees your child more than you do, so constant communication is imperative to ensure that your student succeeds and grows during the school year. Remember this rule when it comes to your child's education: You are their greatest champion in the educational system. If you don't care, they won't care, and their teachers will not care. I have seen too many children thrown to the wayside in the educational system because of parents not taking an interest in their child's education. I hope that we as American moms can bring about a change in the thinking that school is not a babysitter, it is a place for our children to learn HOW to do things; but it is our job as parents to continue to foster what they have learned at school when they come home.

If you have any concerns or specific questions about how to help your child in their schooling or if you need help with quality questions to ask the teacher during a conference, feel free to ask in the comments section and I will respond. I would love to hear any and all thoughts on education and what you feel may be lacking in today's educational system. Our children are our future and we, as their parents, must ensure that they are help up to the highest standards, and then pushed some more. There is so much that children are capable of and I find it sad that many of them do not live up to their potential. I want to change that way of thinking!

Getting your finances in order

Hello dear readers. I know it has been such a long time since we have posted on our blog. Between Shevaun's move to her first duty station in Hawaii and her husband's first deployment and my own long-term illness, it has been a struggle getting through the day-to-day activities let alone our hobby and business building. So, I think it fitting to discuss getting your finances in order as the beginning of this year as already come and gone! Many of us are mothers who are in families with only one income, our husband's. We are forced to learn early how to find deals, cut unnecessary expenses, and sacrifice our wants for the needs of our families. The first suggestion I make to families who live on a strict budget is to make a list of your necessary bills. For example: Rent/mortgage, electricity, phone, water, trash. Those are the necessities. Then follow by making a list of your other bills. For example: Cable, Internet, car payment, cell phones, car insurance, and credit cards. After you have made this list, put the average monthly amounts that you pay for each next to them. Remember, this is just an average. So, say you pay $700 for your rent. You would list that next to RENT. Obviously, some bills vary month to month, so that is why I suggest you put an average payment. You really get a sense of where your money is going during the month this way. Next comes the extra necessities: Food and gas! Many people, when they make a budget forget about these necessities. The key to this exercise is to see what your total debt is and how to get it down as much as possible in as little as time as possible so that you can be better off down the road. When it comes to credit card debt, list the total amounts that you owe as well as what you are expected to pay each month. Keep in mind that if you are making the minimum payment on these, you will take a long time to pay these off. My suggestion would be, if it is within your means, to double your minimum payment each month or at least try to pay a little extra depending on what your minimum payment is. If you have a high interest rate, i.e. 21% (which is ridiculous), I would suggest closing the account and paying it off in regular installments. A reasonable rate for a credit card is anywhere between 12-14% for someone with an average credit rating. However, if you have a good credit rating, you should not accept anything above 10% interest rates. Many of us live paycheck to paycheck, and the only way to get out of a majority of debt is to determine what our needs are versus our wants and stick to the needs list at least until you have downsized your debt a bit. Building a savings account is also very important. Most of us can't afford to put that much into savings. So my biggest suggestion is to start with $10-20 each paycheck until other debts are paid down and slowly increase that amount. This will allow you to not rely on those credit cards anymore for purchases as you will have a cash base you can go to. I am not ashamed to say that my husband and I are in the same situation as many active duty military personnel. We are working on paying off all of our credit card debt so that we have a larger sum in our savings for emergency purposes or for larger purchases that we do not want to charge. It is doable, no matter how much you owe. The key is to talk openly with your partner, look hard at your needs vs. wants list, be honest about your bills, and if possible buy things second hand. I recently outfitted my son in a 4T wardrobe of summer and winter items (minus socks, underwear, and shoes) for $40 and they are all well cared for items. I did this by looking on a local site in my area called lejeuneyardsales.com. You can do the same by looking for gently used items for your children (because lets face it, kids are expensive), by going to yard sales and looking at second hand websites like the one I use here where I live.

When you feel the "Bad day" coming on

Okay, ladies, I had to share with you what happened this morning to me! I began my day at 5 am this morning with a peepee accident with my 3 year old. Thankfully, my husband helped by cleaning him off and putting him in our bed before he went off to work (a big thanks to wonderful husbands and dads that do give you a break when you just want to hide under the covers that early in the morning!). When my alarm finally went off to get my daughter up for school, I was really not ready to get moving. If any of you have seen Bruce Almighty, I was Bruce trying to stay in bed even when the covers are pulled from you! (Not moving...nope.. not me!- this is a really great visual and I hope you are all laughing about it!). I finally get moving, get my daughter out of bed (this took 10 minutes with a mini breakdown from her of "I don't want to go" and "I don't like school"- even though I know this to be the exact opposite). The bane of overly exhausted children. You know they do not go to sleep right away when we put them to bed, they sneak those toys into bed with them and play, although I have only seen the remnants of this the next morning... she is too quiet to catch in the act. So we finally get breakfast and vitamins into her tummy, another battle! Meanwhile, I am also trying to get my son ready to leave the house and school starts in less than 20 minutes! I have to drive 10 minutes to get to the school, which is not bad, but just brushing teeth, putting on shoes, and getting her jacket on seemed to be another dramatic moment! By this time, my anxiety had ratcheted up and I could feel my body heat up (which ladies, if you have never experienced this, makes your irritation even worse!!). Finally, we are ready, rushing to the car.. I finally get to her school looking at my clock thinking we made it! Only, don't you just know it, MY clock is 2 minutes behind the school clock and so now I have to sign her in. I just sit there in my car giving my daughter the 3rd degree because now we have to go to the office and I am, wouldn't you know it, in my PAJAMAS and ROBE!

As you can imagine, this is not the way to start a day, but we all know it happens. My advice is to remember to keep your cool. Sometimes these hiccups happen. For me, I had to vent about it right away so that I did not dwell on the irritation I felt with my daughter... so who did I call, but her father. And there he sat on the phone with me laughing, because he could sure picture me in my moon and stars robe with messy hair and slippers signing our child into school. Now, you must realize by this point, I too was laughing about the whole situation. Sometimes our days do not always go as planned, but we can't stop doing what needs to be done just because our day has started rotten. We as moms still have jobs. What I would have liked to do was crawl back into bed when my son and I returned home from our morning fiasco, but instead, I made a cup of tea and began working on my homework. "Bad days" can be like a domino effect. Once one thing goes wrong, it all goes wrong. However, that does not have to be the case. If you feel this happening, stop for a moment or two, take a breath and a break for 20 minutes or so, and then begin again starting with something that you enjoy doing. Your "bad day" will definitely turn into a better day. And don't be afraid to share! Venting those yucky things that are making you feel bad does help, especially when you can vent to your husband who has the ability to turn your frown upside down!

Seasonal Depression

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
I have struggled with this for a while and did not realize it. The symptoms to me were not as noticeable. The more I shared it with others, the more I realized how very common it is.

According to Web MD, the symptoms for SAD are:

• decreased levels of energy
• difficulty concentrating
• fatigue
• increase in appetite
• increased desire to be alone
• increased need for sleep
• weight gain

There are many treatments for this type of depression. Most people that I have talked to about this go tanning for a few minutes at a time once or twice a week. You can also do light therapy and a lot of times, your insurance will pay for the light required for this. If you feel you have this disorder, I strongly suggest you speak to your doctor about possible treatments. There is no reason to suffer through the winter season when there are options available!

When Depression Strikes

Often times, the "beast" sneaks up on us, like a thief in the night, waiting for us to be at our most vulnerable; and then it strikes. Its poisonous fangs digging deeply into our psyche until we feel like we have lost an essential part of ourselves: our identity.

Who we are as moms and wives should never overtake who we are as women. Our identity is constantly changing as we grow, age, and hopefully, become even better people than we were before. We change so gradually, that the "beast" can take root so deeply within ourselves and we do not even realize it until it is too late. The BREAK DOWN occurs, or as I like to say, "I have just lost my mind today."

This "beast" is a little snake called depression. It infiltrates us slowly, manipulating our minds, hearts, and souls; sucking everything we are right out of us. We do not even realize this is happening until one day we snap.

Today, I am focusing on talking about how to avoid the eventual snapping by discussing signs that you may be "losing" yourself as well as some ways to halt the downward slide. I myself have struggled with mild depression for the past 2 1/2 years. I used to teach full time and chose to stay home when my second child was born. At this time, I also became ill. On the one hand, I lost my identity as a career woman, who I had been (a teacher) was no longer my identity. I had become just "a mom". And then, a "sick mom". There is nothing wrong with being "just a mom"; being a mom is one of the most important jobs I will do every day for the rest of my life, and I want to do it as best as I can. However, I was taught since a young age that it was important for me to rely on myself and have a career as well. This mode of thinking can really tear you down when you go from making your own money to relying on your husband to pay all of the bills; especially if you were taught the way of life that both parents worked (which I was). Long story short, I began going to therapy and am on medications to hopefully control my Chron's disease (eventually!), but feel healthier in body, mind, and spirit today than I have since I stopped working full time three years ago.

The "beast" sunk its fangs in deeply and I became so sad, weepy, and just did not want to get out of bed. An identity change can really destroy you if you are not prepared for it. We as women will go through this at some point in our life even if you are not experiencing it now. We as moms cannot let it destroy us. Our children rely on us to be their rocks and be the strong and consistent ones in their lives. We cannot let the "beast" win the wars that rage within us.

Here are some things to watch out for: Crying spells, lethargy, not caring about what is going on in your life, not able to get out of bed, no enjoyment in things you used to enjoy, secluding yourself, and irrational anger.

Here is what you can do about it: Go to see a therapist/counsellor (this is a safe place to talk about what is upsetting you and give you the tools to deal with your life as it is today), find a support group of women, go out and enjoy sunny days, and above all, do not hole up in your home. Make sure you do at least one thing a day (even if that one thing is just taking a shower), when you are the most depressed, that one thing will make you feel like you have accomplished something for the day. Surrounding yourself with bright colors also helps as the winter season comes upon us.

Please feel free to share in the comments section other ideas for dealing with depression. What works to get you out of the blues and silences the "beast"?

Finding a hobby

Aloha from Hawaii! My family and I are finally getting settled into our new home. I'm so exited to be blogging again!

As LeeAnne said in her previous post, we are focusing this month on not losing our identities as mothers, wives, women, etc. I wanted to write a little bit about finding a hobby.

It happens all too often. We wake up one day and think, "I don't know who I am anymore." Which can lead to so many things, depression, mid-life crisis, affairs, etc. I do not want that to happen to me. I think it is so important not only for our sake but for our families sake to take care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally and physically. And having a hobby or working on a talent is such an important part of that.

I grew up taking polynesian dance. I loved it. I excelled in it. It gave me confidence (not to mention a killer work out :)) When I moved to Utah, I could not find anywhere to take it and missed it terribly.

I tried out some other hobbies/talents that my friends enjoyed; scrapbooking, sewing, crafty things. While I had a little fun while I was doing it, I didn't get super excited to do it. Scrapbooking completely overwhelmed me in fact.

When we found out we were being stationed in Hawaii, to say I was excited would be an understatement. I knew that I would definitely find a Halau to dance with here. I started my first class on monday and came home so excited. It is such an uplifting experience to do something that you have a passion for.

I also have joined a group called Stroller Strides. It is so much fun! Stroller strides is a fitness program comprised of moms with stroller age children. They have classes all over the country. You can find a class near you here. It gives me a killer workout and an opportunity to meet other moms.

I challenge you to find or revisit your talent/hobby that you have a passion for and truly enjoy. The options are limitless!